The Science of Persuasion | Featuring Sean Callagy

Perhaps one of the most important skill
sets you could ever learn and then master is the skill persuasion. How do
you actually go from a hello to actually a yes. It’s what drives relationships, It’s
what drives business. Frankly, this entire world comes down not just to
communication but effective communication. The ability to connect
with people and make stuff happen. And today, I actually have here in studio
from the other side of the country Sean Callagy. This man and I have traveled all
over the world together and he’s an incredible amazing human being.
America’s top lawyer. And today he’s going to share with you how he has won
some of his biggest cases with 4 simple steps that you need to know. So, I’m joined by my friend Sean Callagy,
who might be the most persuasive man alive. How do I know this because in 18
months, he has persuaded me to participate in just about everything
that he is up to. But more than anything, we are just dear dear friends. And so
you’ve seen Sean before, yes as America’s top lawyer but more important than that,
he is one of the most persuasive individuals and teaches multi-day
courses. In fact, just got off my stage teaching hundreds of our Mavericks what
it is to actually go from hello to yes. So, Sean. Welcome, how you doing man? -I’m
doing amazing. And this place is incredible. Thank you. I’ve never seen
anything like this. This is state-of-the-art Architectural Digest.
You are amazing. So, I am honored and thrilled. -Thank You, Sean. So, glad to have
you. And dude, let’s bring the heat. Could it really break down
persuasion honestly a hello yes in something it’s just simple as 4 steps?
-Without a doubt. So, those 4 steps Kris are the things that for me for so
long, I watch people have a desire to go from hello to yes. Whether it’s in a
business sale, courtroom, a relationship. -Yes. -Just with friends. “Hey, like… Where we
going to go to dinner?” -Yes. -It’s a difficult thing for us. So, yes. 4 steps, simple.
-Dude, I love that. Let’s do the first one. -Sure. So the first step is the building
of emotional rapport. Before you have emotional rapport, we all seen
Charlie Brown, right? At the peanuts. -Yep. All that we’re hearing is “Wah, wah, wah.”
-“Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.” -Yeah. An emotional rapport building is what opens up the
name of the other person and without it, no message is coming for us.
-So, what is emotional rapport building? Like how do you do that? -Sure. Well
there’s 5 like sub components of questions to ask people. It opens up the
listening by asking people “Where have you been? Where are you? Where are you
going? What’s working and what are the challenges?” -I just kind of actually like
digest that because Seam, you’ve actually never broken those 5 down for me. Like
here on YouTube before and I’m just feeling like, “Wow. So, many people are like
what do you do? What’s your career?” You know? We kind of go through some of that
standard stuff but there’s so much more depth to say, “Where where do you come
from? Where are you now? Where are you going?”
And what were the last 2? -Sure. What’s working. What are the challenges? -What’s working? What
are the challenges? I love that challenge question because when people meet each
other, we’re always trying to put our best foot forward and so people don’t
really want to get vulnerable. But you’re actually inviting vulnerability and
authenticity right on the gate. -Absolutely. And for those listening out
there that are like, “nNbody’s going to answer those questions.” I am Telling You
and submitting this right here right now. 50% of the people that I interact with,
at the end of emotional rapport building, which by the way you have to love people
and care, it’s in integrity. People don’t get listening. When that happens, 50% of
people I communicate with, cry. From your stage last time I was here, 2 people in
front of the entire audience just illustrating how this worked in 90
seconds, cry. -Wow. -Yeah. -Okay, so that’s the first step is we got to get ourselves
connected. What is step 2? -Sure. So, step 2 is people still think that they’re going to
get eaten by a saber-toothed tiger jumping out of the bushes. -Okay. -Right?
Amygdala, right? You know this Kris. And Kris, you’re so amazing at all of this,
all of it. People feel like they’re going to get eaten and devoured. So, they’re afraid
to say yes. So, if somebody approaches you in a store, typically maybe not you Kris.
But a lot of the folks out there, they go, “Oh, no. I don’t need help. And we’re afraid.”
So, what we have to realize is that step 2, that you’re clarifying people’s pain
and connecting them to it because people act out of avoiding pain. So, if it’s like,
“Hey, this is going to be great for you.” That’s not what people react to because
they’re afraid they’re going to make a mistake they’re getting it yelled at by
their significant other. They’re going to feel stupid and rejected. So, we have to
have people connected deeply to what it is they don’t want. Which is the status
quo because everybody wants more. So, when you’re in that space at step 2, you’re
having people step into a future of not acting as opposed to trying to pull them
to acting. -Yeah. But how do you do that? -Absolutely. So, questions –the power of
questions. So, instead of saying… So for example, let’s say that I was
communicating with you about becoming a legal client of mine. And you’re a
Babbitt a training client to accelerate your business. You’re a genius, right? And
we’re sitting here going… My simple question and report building would
elicit that everybody wants more almost, everybody more time and more
magic in fulfillment. People don’t want more money. At least we’re magic a
fulfillment. And all for more time. So, we’d have a conversation. I’ve elicited
that .And honestly, do you want to grow your business? You want more financial… -100%
Right. Yes. So, do I, right? So, will be connected in that space. And instead of
saying, “So Kris, let me now go right into my step 3. My unique identity.”
Which other people will call U-S, pay unique selling proposition. When I would
begin to connect with it say… Okay, so that’s your question,
you said you have these huge dreams of building this massive Empire
transformation for people. I heard you even feel that? Did you feel
that? -Absolutely. Because you do have that dream. -Yes. -Right. So, what I would begin a
community by say, “Hey, Kris. Before we talk about anything else, let me ask if you
never got there.” Right? And you’re in the same place, you have a beautiful amazing
credible life. If your growth stopped here, 5 years now, 10 years, Kris, how
would you feel? -I feel like down. I would feel like I’d be reliving the glory days and
I wouldn’t be growing. -Right. And then I would take. And on your deathbed, if
that’s where you were… I literally do that and if you’ve gotten emotional
rapport, if you’ve reached that space, this is natural because it sounds
unnatural. Out of context. -Yeah. -In the emotional poor process, it’s not. You’ve
listened you’ve heard people are flowing, conversations going. And people are very
open to do this. And now it’s like, “Yeah, wow. I need to move forward.” That is
quote equals pain as opposed… And there’s pain either way. Pain to making a
mistake moving forward. But Wow, status quo is pain and rising and above. Now,
people are ready for step 3. That communicate? -It does. It totally land. So,
what is the next picture? -So, next step, 3 is that to be the solution for
that pain. So, what I would say it’s step 3, the transfer the transitional
question is… Hey, Kris. Is it okay if I share now a little bit about myself? -Yeah.
-If you could have a 4 step meeting, 2-thirds of your time is spent in step
1 and 2, one-third is spent in step 3 and 4. -I love that. This idea,
I’ve heard it before yet… You got 2 ears, one mouth. Use them proportionally. -Yes.
-And so, what you’re doing is… And I love this. Because you’ve taught me so much of
this. Well now, when I meet with people and I’m considering doing
business with them, all I want to do is hear about them, “Tell me
about your life, tell me about you.” And and it’s not because it’s a strategy to
get them to talk. It’s because I there’s just actually a genuine interest. And I
also know that that’s actually part of helping people feel comfortable from the
saber-tooth Tiger. Absolutely that when we get started getting real about what
are those challenges. Now, there’s vulnerability, there’s rapport and then
step 3 you really can then go into… -Your heroic, unique
identity. And if I could share one more quick piece, so you’re like “Well,
Kris was super success before I ever met you. And all these people are
successful.” You don’t really need this. And the answer is “of course you do.”
Because Kris, intuitively did so many of these things. Studied them, had other
access and had… It was phenomenal. Masterful when I met you. And I was
masterful. And since I’ve met you, I’ve learned from you. I think maybe you’ve
learned some things from me. We co-created wrote. And it’s not a question
of yes you’re good at this or you’re not. But where are you on the scale of
mastery. And mastery equals exponential growth. So, right? That’s the space we’re
coming from. Make sense? -100%. -So, step t3 you’re heroic unique identity, this is
where you begin to share who and what you are. And so I… And I’ll share this:
Kris is a genius, is brilliant. I’ve learned so much from him. And one
unique identity access that I share with Kris is as I met his family and found
out the family man he is, the human being he is in the world; his common moral
compass and what’s up. I was like, “Kris, man. Like this is a little piece that
could shoot… Like you can let out a little bit more because it’s such a
heroic component of you.” So, that one little… That one little additional
piece might be the difference between Kris being worth 100 million dollars
and a billion dollars or ten billion dollars. -Wow. -That makes sense? -It
does. It puts everything into really strong perspective. -Yeah. So, heroic unique
identity is how you show up and communicate your story. Not just your
story of making money and doing whatever but what drives you. The story of Kris
being is at the beach with his family and our connecting and riding waves
children burying himself in the sand and eating ice cream. Like that is
powerful. And as you share your story, your heart and clearly… And then you want
to shape. 500,000 YouTube subscribers, what’s happening in the world and
your great accomplishments are. But believing story of your life and by the
way, your product or services. And they are related stories but there are also
different stories. And that’s what pulls people forward. So, your unique identity
is solving the pain that you elicited step 2. -Got it. -One more piece. Final
piece is the anti-hero characteristics has to be eliminated at all costs.
Sarcasm, cynicism, judgement, blame. These are the Destroyers of you your unique
identity. -You got a pause for a second, man. Just
sit on that. Sean, in all of the classes and trainings and mentors and coaching
I’ve ever had, I’ve never heard that before and that just landed on me like a
ton of bricks because I believed that. But no one’s ever actually said you
shouldn’t do those things because it will erode credibility. Because I’ve had
great relationships with people until I’ve had that moment where I saw them to
be super negative, crazy judgmental, sarcastic and all the sudden, I was like,
“Wait a second. I don’t know if I can trust you. There’s something different
about your character than actually knew.” -Yeah. -And so, I love that you’re saying
erode those. Eliminate those from your character. -Yeah. And brother, listen. You
are this. You are this. Because what’s drawn me to you… What’s drawn me to you…
Remember, like sometimes we don’t have like all the same language for something.
But Kris was that’s long before I met him. And that’s what true, man. I didn’t…
I wasn’t moved by the notion of Kris Krohn can help me make more money which
you can and you have and you are and I love you, right? I was moved by his heart,
his character and what he was up to. And that’s that’s the truth. So, you are this,
brother. -Sean, thank you. Thank you. So, I love this idea of when you when you
portray that unique hero identity, it needs to be well thought out. It needs
to be powerful as you need to know who you are. If you can’t say it concisely,
that tells people that your may be confused and who you are. -Absolutely. -I
can’t say it powerfully then they’re not going to believe you. And so, I think that
that pair from what I’ve witnessed in you is that you really have to have that
nailed down. You should have… You should take time to sit down. And it’s not about
memorization. It’s about confidence in knowing exactly who you are and who
you’re not. -Yeah. And when you deliver it, there’s a difference between modesty
and humility, right? So, humility is a virtue. Modesty is
a sin. So, modesty is hiding your greatness from people. -Interesting.
Humility is being appropriately humble and in a servant space but still letting
them know that you’re Kris Krohn, man. -Yes. -And you can help people make money
in real estate a high-level. Access their freedom and limitations, right? f you’re
not sharing that then nobody knows… How would somebody know who you are to
support them and give to them and contribute to their life, if you, you, me
all of us are not sharing it. -I’m so drawn into this conversation right now.
And I’m like, “Man, people are going to watch this entire video.” Because this is really
you, guys. I’m telling you right now, this is it. This is the conversation you want
to go from hello to yes in 5 minutes? 10 minutes? It really comes down to
these 4 steps. So, after you have taken what’s unique about you and you’ve
shared it powerfully, to be the solution to the problem you found in step 2,
what’s the fourth step? -The fourth and final step is agreement of formation. And
again, without judgment. You don’t have judgment. I’m suggesting an access
to this final step that might be different than the word closed because
sometimes that word… The word close can give rise to some charge. It
could feel manipulative, you feel hard. Agreement formation means to us coming
together to make an agreement to move ahead. -Well… And it’s all about instead of one
person winning over another person over some concept or idea, it’s about, we’re
both seeing if we can come together and both be better off based on how we make
our exchange. Very different energy. -Very different. The model might…
My motto line… And I guess as “influencers influencing influencers” To merge
ecosystems for one plus one equal was a trillion relationships to make the world
an even greater place. And that embodies that model. And that’s what we’ve done.
-Yeah. You know, we were launching companies. We’re co-creating
together. And you know what’s amazing? –Is you know I came out here and delivered
and… It was… It was this like flowing dynamic of relationship. It was
“Wait a minute, what are you saying? What are you selling?
What are you doing?” It was just us like, “Together… Of course, what do you do… Wait…
I’m go…” It wasn’t like that. -Yeah. -And that’s the space of contribution that is
underneath and circulates around entire model. -Wow. Sean, you’ve done a
beautiful job today breaking down persuasion. For those of you, I hope you
took notes. You probably have like many pages worth. If not, go back and re-watch
this and then actually figure out practice. Figure out how to actually do
this. You know, one of the things Sean talks about is actually mastering and
practice mastering. -Yes. -And so this is a skill that you just work at over and
over and over again so you can become a master influencer. Master influencers
leave legacies. -Yes, sir. -So, thank you so much, Sean. -You’re hearing
from a master influencer. -I appreciate you being here. Thank you for breaking it
down for everybody here. Friends, if you want to learn more about Sean Callagy,
I’m telling you right now, he teaches some of the most brilliant multi-day
courses on the art of persuasion that he specifically calls… -“Our unblinded
immersion for people who want more money in less time with more magic and
fulfillment in their life.” -Friends, if you want to learn that level of persuasion
and you want to produce those kind of benefits they’re available to you now,
check the link below and you’ll be able to go immediately to Sean Callagy site.
You can learn about many of these upcoming events and I’m going to tell you, I
might or even hopefully I’ll be there myself. -Brother, I want you as a speaker.
Would you appear in speak? -I’m going to be there. I’m going to be there, brother.
We’re going to do it for sure. -Let’s go. -Sean, just absolutely brilliant, guys.
Definitely learn more about him. Follow all over social media. And if you’re not
subscribed, we got the videos coming out every day. As you know, dedicated to
helping become that outside of that box maverick thinker that is fully capable
of producing your own financial freedom and creating immense value for the rest
of the world. So, subscribe. We’ll see you tomorrow’s video.

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