Road To Legacy | Episode 296

I was listening again to a number of different
sermons from Erwin McManus at Mosaic Church out in Hollywood, California. And he said in the sermon, he said, God wishes
to kill your ego, not your ambition. You know vulnerability and transparency, if
you think of both of those, have become a very like buzzword topic, especially on social
media, almost to the extreme. What I’ve, what I found over the last couple
of years, doing all this crazy stuff on social media is that I saw that gap and I saw the
lack of vulnerability and transparency, and so I became vulnerable and transparent. But in the beginning, it was as like a tactic. Like it was just like a tool. Like I knew I needed to stand out and in order
to make an impact i needed to be transparent. So it was more like just like using this tool
of vulnerability, rather than being like, truly, truly vulnerable. And so I kept struggling going back and forth
with, why on earth do you want to run these 13.1 miles in less than two hours? And I was like, because it’s a goal and I
gotta have goals and I gotta have something to go after. And as soon as I do it, and I and I hit one
hour, 59 minutes, I’m going to feel incredible. Then part of me said, Oh, but but you’re gonna,
you’re gonna screenshot that right, like, you’re gonna screenshot your Map My Run app,
and you’re going to post that to your Instagram story, right? And so are you doing it for you or are you
doing it because you’re competing with yourself or is it your ego that you want to show other
people that you went out and did something great today that you did something that you
never done today? Is it really for you? Or is it for the appearance? Are you seeking to be known? Or are you seeking to be worth knowing? Are you seeking to be great? Or are you seeking the appearance of great? When in reality on the inside, there’s nothing
much good at all. And even even going into like the hundredth
episode of the daily vlog that we were doing, we had wanted to do something like crazy for
the hundredth episode. Like bring on a big guest or do something
cool, exciting. And we decided to do this very simple episode
of me just sitting in front of the camera and it said, alcoholic across it. And I talked about the fact that over these
hundred episodes that I’ve been talking to all these different things and doing all this
stuff and never even discussed the fact that 20 days prior to starting the vlog I had quit
drinking. And that it had been since December of last
year that I hadn’t had a sip of alcohol. And even in that moment, I remember Sean Whalen,
who you guys know, he, he messaged me, after after we released that episode, he was just
like, so what did you think about the hundreth episode? I was like man, it felt great, like it felt
good to put that out there? He’s like, Yeah, he’s like, I think you’re
full of it. And I was like, I got offended like at first. And honestly, I didn’t really truly understand
what he meant by that until like, going through this first chapter of the book. And understanding that I was still using it
as a tool. Like I was still using vulnerability as just
a way to get a message out, and hopefully get it out better to reach more people. But I think that was the transition from we
talked about a lot with The First Responder Task Force as like the transition from going
to my headd to my heart, and truly being transparent and vulnerable, just for the sake of not as
a tool, but as a way to give other people the audacity to do the same. There was something big recently that I shared
and I told my wife and I hadn’t told my wife about it. When I told her about it, she’s like, you
really don’t need to be super public about that. And I’m like, Yeah, I do. And she’s like, yeah but what is this person
to say? What is this person gonna say? I was like, that’s not really of any consequence
to me like it doesn’t bother me. And I think it’s an interesting concept of
ego with vulnerability because that’s really what it comes down to. And what we’ve been talking about a lot is
the fact that those that have the least ego those that have dropped their ego the most
often appear to have the biggest ego. Right. That they don’t care what other people think.

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